DEBATING IF I SHOULD MAKE MYSELF BETTER OR WORSE

hello sexy grasshoppers!! a couple weeks ago i went through a 48 hour heartbreak 😔💔 and this has been the fastest ive gotten over a situation it usually takes up to 1 year 1/2 either way my brain went to the same process and got to THE hardest question of every heartbreak "should i make myself better or worse" this question can be extremely debatable since both sides have their cons and pros so lets make a list!! :D BE BETTER PROS * healing and growing its the best revenge a girl can have * has long lasting effects * gets you better things * makes you feel better in the long run * great comeback * always the victim never the villain BE BETTER CONS * the process hurts * it takes a long time to heal * ups and downs BE WORSE PROS * feels good in the moment * great feeling of rush * a sense of confidence * aesthetic * great songs to post yourself to * builds ego BE WORSE CONS * temporary feeling * not bringing u to ur highest self * no a good comeback * u might end up being the bad guy MY choice everytime so far has been being better BUT the tentation of being worse is DEF there personally i always want to keep my good girl persona bc ive noticed they regret it worse after and bc im actually good girl and the villain aesthetic looks a little too force on me bc ik i cant be the bad guy im 1000% victim aesthetic idc what u have to say ab it i rather be the victim than the bad guy that way i DONT get karma so even if i get hurt ik theres better out there so i dont mind getting hurt at this point if this is coming out as pick me girl IM SO SORRY THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN AT ALL so i hope everyone gets my point!! smhhh🙄 anyways !!! what are ur thoughts idk how to get views on here :p -xoxomariahcarey

START GASLIGHTING YOURSELF!

Ive been watching thewizardliz and shes the fucking goat if u havent seen her videos idk wtf u are doing, get your ass up and play those videos right now wtv she basically talks ab how to reinvent yourself and create a whole new persona and to stop being fugly. the other day i was watching one of her videos and she was talking ab the law of assumption and that you basically need to think that u are the shit or that everyone is obssesed w u and it will lit happen and let me tell u that the law of assumption is SO real! and thats smth ive realized this year when i had my first crush ever i was so doubtful ab if he was gonna be attracted to me or not that i was lit having a REAL LIFE CASSIE moment like i was deadass waking up at 5AM doing my FULL ON face of makeup which i didnt do before, i bought NEW uniform shirts for them to fit my tits better, i changed my SCHOOL pants to fit SKINNY ASF and make it show my fat ass, i started straighten my hair EVERYDAY, started wearing BIG HOOPSS?????????!!!!!!!!! I HAD NEVER WORN BIG HOOPS WHY BIG HOOPS??? i started acting differently i changed everything wtv i was lit going crazy and obsessed look perfect and conventionlly attractive also i had a big influence from my best friend at the time bc he used to tell me that i needed to draw his attention to my body and thats how i was gonna get my crush to like me bc my face wasnt it likeeeeeee girllllll way out of pocket why would u tell me that so that also got in my head and make me even more insecure ab it wtv fast forward he ended up rejecting me and I was DEVASTATEDDDDDDDDD but after that my mind shifted without me knowing like idk it was lit my subconcious but the boys i liked after i NEVER doubted that they would have feelings for me girl and every man i wanted every man i got and still to this day im convinced i can make anyone fall in love with me and this year its when i realized that i switched my mindset without me even knowing now everytime im interested in someone i never think like "omg would they like me" now its a "ofc they are gonna like me why wouldnt they like me??? im amazing" and i think that mindset its so slay and it always works this goes with any aspect of life too like just gaslight yourself fr just be convinced of things that u want to happen and they will lit happen ALSO DO NOT LET ANYBODY LIMIT YOUR DESIRES !!! I lit have the description of my future bf in my head like for example the other day i was at target with a friend and i saw this witchy book that was so cute and so me and i told her "omg my future bf WILL DEF buy this for me" like girl im lit so sure and she goes "he prob dont men dont get it like we do" like no girl u dont get it my future bf its not like other men thats why im gonna be dating him like idk how to explain it but he would just get it like every trait i want in a partner my bf will have, why? well bc thats what i deserved bc ive worked on myself so long to get to a higher self that i need someone to match that same energy level u know? thats why when ppl say things like life sometimes gives u things differently maybe he will be different with traits u might not like yet u are in love like girlll no the universe will give u what u want, what you have worked for, your desires lit wtv u want u CAN GET lit that easy (w some work ofc) but the universe will always give u exactly what u want and for what you have worked for and for what you have desired and if not then it will give you something better SOMETIMES BEING "REALISTIC" ITS SETTLING u can always go for more, be better, be bigger, get better things, there's no limit so switch that mindset RN!! u can get anything u want lit just believe it -xoxomariahcarey ps if there's any typos im sorry but im too lazy to reread this

FACTS ABOUT MEE!! :))))))

Ok trying this blog thing again I previously had one when i was a kid but I cant seem to find it!!!!!!!! wtv so i made this one :} ig ill mention a little bit of myself :p 10 FACTS ABOUT ME :DDDDD 1. My fav color is orange 2. I can tell specifically when was then last time someone showered 3. Showering is very important to me i cant be friends with people that dont shower 4. i have a kitten 5. i would love to have a podcast 6. my fav food is pasta! 7. i think im funny asf 8. im currently craving wearing socks 9. i showered 20 min ago 10. i dont like lies -xoxo mariahcarey ps: NVM i found my old blog omg it was on this acc all the time!! i dont know how to put it private i dont want to deleted bc its too nostalgic for me